Age and Gender: First of Many Reflections

My first day in my training site I found myself singing that blink 182 song “What’s My Age Again?” I already know that I’m young. Out of 33 Peace Corps Trainees in my group, I’m the second youngest (I’ll turn 23 later this month.) Most of my fellow trainees have Master’s degrees. Even though that makes me feel young, it’s nothing compared to living in my training site. I first met my host family, including my six- and nine-year-old host brothers and was struck by how young my host mother looked. I then found out that she is 25, only quite marginally older than me. But age is just a number. How old, how mature is she really? At age 7 she left her family to work and at age 14 she got married. At age 25, she’s got two school-aged children and helps to run a bakery and shop with her husband. It’s interesting, because she often has a childish personality and loves to joke around, but she at the same time handles a ton of work and responsibility between the family business and the household. And then you ask her what she has been through, and it is impressive. It’s no wonder that they call me a nene, or baby/kid. They automatically assumed that my peer would be the 14-year-old girl who works in the bakery, not the mother or her 26-year-old husband, even though my age is much closer to them than to her. When I referred to my popularity with the women in town two weeks ago, those women were all teenagers. It seems very weird to Americans. But on the other hand, I only know one woman my age in town who is still single, and she has an 8-year-old son. So how old am I, really, in this town? Perhaps this perception that I am young (being half Asian, I do probably look younger than my years too) helps fuel many people’s perceptions that I am studying Spanish or something else in Guatemala. Of course, I am learning, but I’m doing that by working in the field of international development. If I was married, I might be taken more seriously. But I have to be thankful – my 28- and 29-year-old female companions have it a lot worse than me. And among well-educated people, there seems to be less of this attitude. I’ve made good friends with the two architects in my office, who at 28 and 32, are married (to each other) but have no children. People I’ve met in City Hall or in other places related to work haven’t had this confusion.

Gender is a big topic in Peace Corps Guatemala. Across the country, men are without a doubt those who have the power. However, the relationship between men and women is different in Ladino and Maya communities. In Ladino (what you would probably normally think of Latino) communities, men are more stereotypically machista (macho): they carry around guns, they are strong and dress like cowboys, they defend their women and try to keep them away from the grime of life (which includes sometimes the “dirty girls” who are their mistresses), and they also demand that their women run the house. In Maya communities, men are not as brash and aggressive (possibly not as unfaithful?), but they do seem to have a quiet superiority over their wives. They make decisions. Women do all the housework, period. Including when the men make a mess, it’s going to be the woman who cleans it up. Of course, men are supposed to support the family financially, but since so many people are self-employed, women and children usually help out with that too. In Ladino communities, it seems like a lot of women despite the machismo make it through school and into professional jobs, but among the Maya the majority of women are illiterate. I live in a Maya community, and right now I’m the only male Municipal Development trainee here. All of us have a good relationship with the mayor, but I’ve got it by far the best. He always remembers my name, and got me an interview on cable TV. This is really nice for me, of course, but is very frustrating for my colleagues.

It’s largely about power, but it’s also about ideas about gender roles. Lots of women say that they don’t want the “liberation” of American or European women. And that’s their prerogative. Under the Peace Corps methodology, we should to some extent accept that and work with it. However, if there is any value that Peace Corps is going to paternalistically push on Guatemalans, women’s rights seems to be the one (so far). As you might expect, I’m less worked up about it than most of the women. But still, I’m starting to ask how I can promote women’s rights here. As for now, I’m starting small. Yesterday in the central plaza, I was playing freeze tag with my host brothers and some other boys from the town. We had finished and were tired, but some girls sitting on a bench asked if they could play too. I told the boys that we’d play another game of tag with the girls. They said one after another, “If they’re playing, I’m not playing.” But then I said that I was going to play with the girls regardless of them, and they then said one by one, “I’m with Felipe (me).” So we all played together, and after a little bit of coaching to each side, they were playing just like it was normal. Today we played soccer with my gringa companions and another girl from the town, and there was almost no resistance from the boys. We actually played the boys against the girls and me, and the 10-year-old girl from the community led us to a big victory. Maybe it’s little moments like that which are the measure of change. I hope so.