Reconnect Visit to Antigua

On Feb. 16th, we PCVs had our first gathering as a training class since our swearing-in ceremony on October 30th when we officially became Volunteers. The gathering was called “Reconnect,” to tie in with the idea of connecting with our fellow PCV’s after the first 3 ½ months in site which are usually spent very highly in site without much contact with other Volunteers. So we marched back up to the office in Santa Lucia Milpas Altas, taking advantage of the excuse to spend a few days in Antigua. It was very strange to go to Antigua; when I moved from the old training town just outside Antigua to my site, I didn’t notice so much the difference between the regions. But coming back, I realized just how strange Antigua is on a national scale – its level of development and wealth, its cosmopolitan culture, and its focus on the arts.

I took advantage of the opportunity to be in Antigua to spend a day and two nights with my old host family. It was nice to be back in the same old town which I know so well, see the corte (indigenous skirt) on all the women, and enjoy the beautiful climate. But the best thing, of course, was to be with the family which I had missed dearly (even if not living with them had made my life easier and saner). I returned to my old ways of playing with the kids all day, staying up into the late hours talking, and not getting anything related to work done. It was fun. My old host mother has gotten (mostly) over my departure, which was very rough for her for a number of reasons, and she started studying nursing in the afternoons. This is very exciting for her because it’s giving her another whole life experience of her own, away from the gentle, but nevertheless domineering presence of her husband, something that helps quench her always-present thirst to leave, get out of the house, get out of her town, etc. At the same time, there was a certain sadness about her. After I left the house, she was somewhat depressed and vowed that she would never invest so much time, energy and emotional wherewithal in another person that would leave. She did decide to host another Trainee, but hasn’t pursued the same kind of extremely close relationship with him as she did with me. I had tried to make a lot of contributions to the family (see “A Beautiful End to Training”), and though I always told them, “Anything that I did while I was here you can do too; there was nothing special about me,” they didn’t believe me. Many of the things which I tried to impart and teach were lost when I left, and instead of leaving improved self-esteem to tackle their problems, at times it seemed like my departure took the wind out of their sails.

The story goes to illustrate just how hard it is to effect meaningful change in people’s lives. It also illustrates how doing a lot of things or providing care for others isn’t necessarily a sustainable solution. How do you create real behavior change? It’s tough to imagine. Surely, part of it is modeling the change you want to be. Part of it, though, is building the capacities of institutions and people who will be in the community long-term and are already allies. Another part is working on self-esteem so that they know that they can reach the goals that the development worker outlines. And finally, change has to come by the light of the Word and the Holy Spirit. Our efforts alone are are OK, but aren’t strong enough to overcome many intractable problems, whether in individuals or institutions. In the Spirit is where we have both the strength to stand up to problems that seem too strong or too embedded to fix and the endurance to keep fighting despite what seem like setbacks from a worldly point of view.